How to Help Teens Cope with Exam Results Disappointment

As parents, we all know the anxiety that comes with waiting for exam results. This year, with experts predicting lower grades due to the end of post-pandemic 'grade inflation,' it's more important than ever to prepare ourselves to support our teens if they don't get the results they hoped for.

Our teens have been through a lot these past few years—navigating online learning, disrupted schedules, and the general stress of the pandemic. It's no wonder that they, and we, might feel more on edge than usual about their exam results. Understanding how disappointment can affect them is the first step in helping them cope.

Disappointment can be a heavy burden for teens, manifesting in different ways. They might experience outcome-related disappointment when their results don't match their expectations or predictions, leading to feelings of loss and frustration. Alternatively, they might feel person-related disappointment, believing they are to blame or thinking others are responsible for their results, which can lead to a sense of personal failure and grief. Both types of disappointment can significantly impact their self-esteem and overall emotional well-being. As parents, it’s heartbreaking to hear statements like, “I’m so useless; I will never pass anything again.” It’s crucial we provide the nurturing support they need during these times.

Tips to Help Your Teen Cope

Dr. Patricia Britto, a seasoned Educational Psychologist and mother, offers valuable insights to help our teens navigate this challenging period. Here are her top tips:

• Sit with Feelings:

  Encourage your teen to take the time they need to process their emotions. It’s perfectly normal to feel upset, and they shouldn’t rush through these feelings. Let them know that sitting with their emotions and understanding them is an important step in moving forward.

• Avoid Blame:

  Help your teen understand that blaming themselves or others won’t change the results. Emphasize that this moment doesn’t define their entire future. Setbacks are a part of life, and it’s how we respond to them that really matters. Encourage a mindset that focuses on learning and growth rather than blame.

• Think About the Future:

  Once they're ready, guide them to think about the future. Encourage them to consider alternative outcomes and how they can work towards better results. Ask empowering questions like, “How can I rewrite my story?” This approach can give them a sense of control and hope for what’s next.

• Seek Support:

  Suggest they seek support from adults. Sometimes, talking things through with a trusted adult can provide clarity and encouragement. Offer to review areas for improvement with them and discuss steps to achieve their goals. Remind them that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

As parents, our role is crucial in helping our teens navigate these emotional waters. By understanding their feelings and providing the right support, we can help them build resilience and find new paths to success. Let's remind them that this is just one chapter in their story and that many more opportunities lie ahead.

Dr. Patricia Britto brings a wealth of experience in promoting the learning and well-being of children and young people. She works independently at Harley Street and with Local Authorities’ Educational Psychology Services, providing support through consultations, psychological assessments, and systemic work like training and workshops. Her practical, solution-focused strategies are designed to empower parents and professionals to better support young people, especially those with mental health difficulties, special educational needs, and neurodiverse conditions such as ADHD, ASD, and Dyslexia.